Imagine, I’m Dead

I have had dreams of my funeral. Typical stuff. People in white clothes. Body dressed in white. Pretty strange stuff. But not completely out of bounds. It always happens in Ganga Vihar, the building in which I spent my childhood. And I am kind of amorphously watching from the first-floor balcony as the entire compound below becomes a sea of white.

 

It’s interesting in the sense that I cannot wait to hear what people are talking about. I always believe that if one has something to say, good or bad, one should say it. So I keep hoping for people to tell me what they think of me. I don’t want to not be able to hear it at my funeral, because I don’t really believe in life after death.

 

So here really is your chance. Say something to me, about me or of me, here. Use the comments section, but please try not to be anonymous. I would really like to read what you have to say or think.

 

17 Replies to “Imagine, I’m Dead”

  1. Harpreet you are the most kind & generous soul I have met & I feel blessed to have known you & that you are in my life. The rapport I share with you is very special to me … does not matter if we don’t speak or in touch for days on end but one thing for sure we can pick up the threads at any time ..you have the ability to make one feel very secure & be in that comfort zone… very few people have that ability. You are very genuine….from within … very blunt & Frank .. I love those qualities about you .. no show sha.. down to earth.. you make everyone feel at ease … what can I say .. you are very special & we all love you for you!

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  2. I don’t want you to die before me but can tell a few things about you while you are still alive. You are honest, straight forward and dependable person. You can keep secrets, you don’t bitch about people, you don’t care about money in fact you don’t know how to handle money at all. You try your best to keep yourself happy with whatever resources you have. You don’t indulge in self pity. You trust people easily and that’s not a great trait. You are multi talented but I wish you could pursue one of your talents to excel in the same. You give emotionally more than what you get back. But I wish you were as good , patient and respectful to your family as you are to your friends. Eventually it’s family which will covering your back whatever and whichever way you bed to be protected. You are constant in your love but not all you meet or let in your life are. Think have written enough. Love you.

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  3. I think you are amazing, if you were dead, you would hear people say that you are amazing. I hope you will finally believe it. I wish that when you are alive you don’t underestimate yourself. You are a brilliant, smart, and a sexy man. A little moody, a little impatient, a lot of extraordinary. You may think of yourself dark and twisty but remember what Meredith says
    “What’s broken can be mended, what’s hurt can be healed. No matter how dark it gets, the suns gonna rise again”. In your case it’s the moon, and oh how brightly it shines, and what a soothing feeling it gives. I love you, tan90ly.
    -Venky

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  4. I am taking my chance…

    I love you Harpreet, always have, always will. You are close to my heart. If there is a soul mate concept somewhere, you are just that.
    Just the thought of your funeral made me cry. I have had such dreams too. Somehow I always wake up crying on my death, and then I find myself silly, because others are supposed to cry not me 🙂
    I hope I am gone before you, so I will not face the whites at yours. Just in case you go first, let me let you know, I will wear a bright red floral, no whites. You make my life so bright, there is no space for whites here.
    I thank God for having you in this lifetime, I pray this continues in the next.
    You are always in my prayers.. My best man, my best buddy, the best that has happened to me in this life… ‘Love you’ is too small a word to express how much you are loved, admired, appreciated, cherished and treasured. Hugggsss 🤗😘

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  5. What I would like to say to you is from the very beginning inspite of me being the younger sibling I have always wanted to protect you and protect that vulnerability that I know you have.You are a good decent human being with such a kind heart towards animals.There is absolutely no malice in you; complete honesty,such integrity that almost anyone trusts you with their darkest secrets with absolute surety.Such incredible intelligence,vast knowledge in every field(except money 😋) and so much talent in almost every field of art 😊 you have been my mentor,my guide,my brother, my hero, the one whom I would follow anywhere,the one whose lead I always trust… and so it shall always be… we may disagree on so many issues and the one thing you can always be sure of, as surely as your next breath is that I shall ALWAYS be there for you … whenever you need me,you shall find me by your side 🧡💙💚💜~~ love always,G…

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  6. I am taking my chance…

    I love you Harpreet, always have, always will. You are close to my heart. If there is a soul mate concept somewhere, you are just that.
    Just the thought of your funeral made me cry. I have had such dreams too. Somehow I always wake up crying on my death, and then I find myself silly, because others are supposed to cry not me 🙂
    I hope I am gone before you, so I will not face the whites at yours. Just in case you go first, let me let you know, I will wear a bright red floral, no whites. You make my life so bright, there is no space for whites here.
    I thank God for having you in this lifetime, I pray this continues in the next.
    You are always in my prayers.. My best man, my best buddy, the best that has happened to me in this life… ‘Love you’ is too small a word to express how much you are loved, admired, appreciated, cherished and treasured. Hugggsss 🤗😘

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  7. Hmmm… this is quite a coincidence…just today in the evening I was thinking of you…seriously… I was thinking of how beautiful it was back then …I was thinking of the Program we did together. The song kept playing in my mind… I was thinking that sure we have not met in a long, long time…yet the memories are so fresh and so beautiful. So innocent… let me say… your infectious laughter, your absolute dedication towards dance…the wonderful dancer and human being that you are. I was turning the pages in my head and it all seemed like yesterday. So dearest Harpreet you are very close to the heart. You are a wonderful, wonderful person. I have seen you pretty closely during the days we were dancing together. There is so much more to do…so dearest Harpreet just know that you are the rarest of rare…a very precious gem. You inspire many and you have a gift. Keep spreading the love, joy and art you have. I am super proud of you.
    PS: I don’t like the thought “imagine I am dead”. Goli maro usko.

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  8. Harpreet to imagine such a scenario is bizarre. Even though we aren’t in touch so often or meet only due to some work related issues, you are one person I know can call anytime without a second thought. You are the one person with whom I have had an instant connect and it’s not to do with any wild imaginations but something more deeper, more profound. You are like an open book and love u for that. Friends till eternity 😘

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  9. I have often told you that you are extremely lucky. You draw people to you instantly, they love you unconditionaly, care for you, admire you and agree with you almost always. You do deserve this attention because you are special. And in return you give a lot too. I have always genuinely loved you and hoped that no one ever hurt you. I will never forget how you showed so much care and concern for me when I was in hospital. I know you will be a great source of strength and support to poonam and nisha when I’m no more. Promise me you will always believe in your heart that I will always be there for you as long as I live. I love you son… And I bless you with all good things happening to you forever.

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  10. Hey Harpreet so like you to come up with something like that ! Hmmmmmmm so firstly your death would make me distraught – totally! I would feel numbed and unable to comprehend what happened. Then slowly it would sink in- all those years ,those talks ,that warmth ,that laughter would all reverberate in my mind. And I would break down, shattered. As if a big chunk of me had gone ! A part of me dead !
    You are my dearest friend ,my bestest friend and probably the only best friend i ever had ! Like geetanjali, I’ve been fiercely protective of you during my initial years of knowing you – in the sense of never wanting to let you be deprived of anything to the best of my ability! ( still remember hunting shops at the International Airport for a video tape of striptease coz you wanted it so much at that time) I’ve been jealous of other girls too for being your friend – I won’t name those girls here- so, been there, done that and then now I’m at a stage where I feel completely at ease and secure in our relationship. We can talk after days or meet after months or even meet frequently and talk often and yet connect on the same plane and that’s so endearing to me. I consider myself very blessed to have met you in my lifetime and have enjoyed such a wonderful friendship with you – and to think that it all started at the bus stop opposite mithibai when I was wondering whether or not to approach you to tie you a friendship band !! Hahaha what a long way we have come since then !
    I love you to bits harpreet and I cherish every moment spent with you ! You define friendship for me! And I’m sooo glad you are my friend ! Hugs and soo much Love !

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  11. You know my concept of death is very different from the drama and trauma people perceive it as. While I see it as a phase of resting and returning back to elements; I felt sad for all of us. Not being around you in the way we know you and love you is our loss. For you I know there’s a lot of love; light; bliss and wisdom of gazillion different gifts from the universe awaits. I would probably just wanna touch your hands for one last time and pray from the depth of my being for not worrying about us. I know you care enough to linger around in fragments looking after so many of us even when supposedly gone. I would remember our best laughters and heartfelt conversations and bid a serene good bye. I see your final times as a surreal evening where I tell Zoe that I am glad she has you alongside to play again.
    At some point of time for sure… I read this out or recite meaning each word …

    [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
    BY E. E. CUMMINGS
    i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
    my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
    i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
    by only me is your doing,my darling)
    i fear
    no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
    no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
    and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
    and whatever a sun will always sing is you

    here is the deepest secret nobody knows
    (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
    and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
    higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
    and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

    i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

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  12. Harpreet…
    Today I stand here and consider myself extremely lucky that I got to know Harpreet, that I got to spend time with him, experience and feel his care, compassion and love. Such a kind person, such a loving soul.
    I will always remember his words, his behaviour and most importantly the way he made me feel.
    Harpreet came into my life at a time when even I had absolutely no idea that I needed him. It was like God put me through an extremely difficult test but gave me the answer key in the form of Harpreet.
    From that point I took a part of Harpreet for myself, a part that I was not going to share with anybody.
    Today I may not see you in flesh but I will have you in my heart till the time it stops beating.

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  13. Harpreet, I have experienced you to some extent so am going to say many things but what stands out the most for me is your mad sense of humour, You are one person who can crack me up when am all raging, your sense of humour has that kind of positive impact on me. Your affection soothes, in not just a physical way but also your voice…I can tell when you love, you love generously. And what must be obvious ( to not just me) is your undeniable artistic talent,,,so much so that I sometimes yet regret that I failed to convince you to transcend the petty politics in the queer community and despite it, collaborate more than what we already have worked together on, so through your obvious talent we could help our common cause further. But today I myself stand defeated and discouraged by all the ugliness and I totally get how and why you would rather keep away and am just glad we tried, …am just glad ‘I experienced you’ a little 🙂 Stay genuine!

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  14. I would say, that you are such a complete person in yourself. Every person would desire to have someone like you by their side… Extremely good looking, very intelligent, awesome sense of humour, no one would ever be bored if you around, you keep the party going, so creative, empathetic.. You always understand where the person is coming from and you are caring and supportive and non judgmental. You can easily put one at ease
    Though we don’t catch up much or speak much like we used to, you still hold a very special place in my heart and always will!!! Stay blessed always!

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  15. I have met you only for couple of times but those very interactions have a big impact in my life.
    Let me put it up this way.
    Our first meet :
    It took me like 40 mins to come from my home in Oshiwara (then) to your place cos of traffic and frustration was very obvious. I see this extremely charming man with two of his ‘kids’ (that’s what you told me making me confused and giving me relief to find out they weren’t humans :p )
    So this tall Punjabi man with infectious smile wasn’t only about his looks but extremly grounded who hugged his watchman (I don’t remember why)
    That incident totally added a layer to my perception about you.

    Your family :
    I was so shocked to meet them. I mean how can they be so cool. I was offered stuff at your home and they were super nice to me. I mean I was already feeling special.
    No doubt, niceness is in your genes. 😉

    Discussing about our passions
    So it was surprising and also ‘thrilling’ to know about your talent in art and literature. Though I don’t connect with much of fiction, specially magical realism(which you are fond of); I could sense your love for writing, painting, literature & movies. And also you are a tarot card reader. That totally blew my mind.

    Meeting your friend
    So this incident is something I can’t forget to mention. A very close friend of yours crashed at ur place when I was at ur home. After a walk or something, you asked him to leave which I thought was rude on your part, only to know that he was being sarcastic and mean to me (which I still don’t know why). But the point is I didn’t realise it but you handled it on my part (that too with one of ur closest friend)
    I mean this totally shows your niceness and caring nature .

    There are so many incidents and things for which I admire, love and respect you. And you better know that. 😝❤️

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  16. Harpreet you are a kind hearted, jovial and good spirited lovely person . My memories are mostly from our college times and I am glad I cherish them till date. Though we have missed many years in between, I am happy I got a chance to catch up with you. I hope you always stay the way you are and meet often :). I would not want to miss you, so hope I am the first to depart. Luv & hugs x

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